Malapetaka

Gimana sih rasanya kalau elo udah suka.....bukan! Lebih dari suka. Mungkin cinta sama orang lebih dari 7 tahun. Tapi lo cuma bisa liat dia dari jauh?

NYESEK!!!

Bodohnya orang itu gue. Gue pikir dengan gue bilang ke dia kalau gue suka dia. Gue bakal bisa move on and somehow I think it work. But It didn't work at all.

Just...if it comes to him. I can't think straight. I can't breathe normally. I just...how can I describe this one? Feel blank when he around me. And it happens to me, just only him can make me feel that.

It's so ridicilous...
Maybe some people say and think, "Mustahil itu namanya 'CINTA' kalo lo suka dari SD!"
But it really happend to me. Stupid!


Hal yang paling nyesek pas lagi bilang ke dia, dia cuma bilang... "Mungkin dy nggak nanggepin elo kali."
Kalimat dia yang itu nampar gue banget!

And I think...he already slap me. But then he punch me.
He said to my besties, about everything that I said to him. And he said to her, "Gue udh males sama dia."
What is that mean???? We..never ever getting closer even we're in the same school when we in elementary school.
He said, his not surprised at all when I tell my confession. He knew it. From seven years ago, but he just...see and do nothing when I just trying to survive when I'm down.
He never know that I...won't had a boyfriend. Because I want wait for him.

Emangnya nggak susah ya nahan perasaan selama itu? Emangnya nggak sedih ya, elo ngeliat temen pulang sekolah bareng pacarnya?
Emangnya enggak nyesek ya, kalau ngeliat temen disayang-sayang sama pacarnya?
But that's not the point. I always envy to my friend's. But when it comes to you...Gue tahan lagi perasaan itu.

Gue sedih banget karena hal itu,dan oleh karena itu gue selalu nyibukin diri dengan baca Novel. Gue selalu berlebihan baca novel roman. Itu nyiksa gue, karena gue tau. Apapun yang terjadi didalam novel itu...hal itu NGGAK akan PERNAH TERJADI DALAM KISAH NYATA GUE!!!!
Tapi gue nggak bener-bener bisa benci elo. Karena gue emang udah stuck to you, for seven (almost eight) years.

Sekedar info : Gue masih simpen semua surat-surat gue sama dia. Bahkan, bungkus coklat nya aja masih gue simpen. You are my first boy who mad me feel love. You are my first love. Until now.



#J

Note :
Jangan marah lagi karena gue blokir. Gue ngeblokir elo itu ada alesannya. Semakin sakit kalo gue liat elo.
Gue sayang banget sama elo, for you to know aja :)
But can I still be your random friend?